First Cuts

They say the first cut is the deepest. I believe it completely. I keep contemplating as to whether I should be the one to call him back or wait for him to call him back, so I have been seeking spiritual help. Hopefully after a week I will be calm enough to understand and evaluate what has been happening with me.....
a few other questions have been tangling my mind also:
- Write the GMAT?
-Write an Email to two Professors thanking them for their help
-MEd or MMPA... I'm confused

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. "

Perfectly described my feelings

In a Daze I walk around in a daze...
my hollowed out interior
filled with smoky gloom,
choking off all joy.
Just as life begins to clear,
I gasp aloud at the realization,
you’re not here;
you never will be again.
I wilt like a waterlily
in the desert.
I walk around in a daze... By Joanna Fuchs